Let's have some lunch ! [feat. Emrys and Zola]

This morning was crazy. First Lou-Ann didn’t want to go to school, she just started her new year and wanted to stay with me. I really love her but I had to be strict for once, so after 30 minutes, I finally get her to her class.

Then I went to Harvard, the school hadn’t start for us yet but I had to help one of my friend who makes a short movie. I didn’t know in the first place but my character was a young cross-dresser. What a chance! But I really wanted to help my friend so I did it. I changed my clothes to become a woman. It was hard to play because I looked ridiculous but we mad it, it took us 3 hours, and when I realize it was lunch time, I decided to go to the cafeteria to eat something.
I bought a sandwich and a soft drink, then I found a place, there were a lot of people today. Then I realize that everyone was looking at me and laughing. I remembered that I didn’t change myself after the shooting, I still looked like a girl. I took of the wig quickly, I still had the make-up on my face and the skinny jean but it was better than nothing …

That how I got here, in woman outfit … I start to eat, no matter the other, I am starving and it’s too late, I’m already in the middle of cafeteria …

This morning was the worst i ever known. My mother phoned me for a terrible announcement ; My little brother, Artémis, the second one, born before Denys and Priape is dead. I'm hurt by this ... oh fuck ... i can't realize that my brother is dead. It was like a twin for me, the best part of me, the best thing for me, to keep me calm but now, i never receive his letters any more and this idea is horrible for me. I know that tommorow, i should tell this news to my brother but i can't imagine i will tell them ; "Hey boys, our brother is dead by a war wound ... it's normal, he is dead for his country ... be happy, don't cry !" . It's a joke, isn't it ? I can't, I miss him so much and i don't want to loose him but now, it's too late ... My brother is dead ; My head is shaking by my state of mind. I'm lost in a lake of tears in my head because i force me to keep all emotions in my body, in my heart, in something i don't really know. So, the lost boy i am go to the cafeteria without any reasons and search for a table far from everybody. Nevertheless, there are no table free. I go throught the big student restaurant and sit on a fewer table at the end of the cafeteria. I am in the dark and i look nothing, my look is hazy and anybody can talk to me because Emrys is going to another planet. Suddenly, strange boy come to my table, i feel his presence and i look at him, just a second ; he seems to be a girl but not totally. He is so strange, isn't it ? I look down because i want to be lonely with my dark thinking. Boy or girl ? I don't care. I feel the strange boy gaze on me and i don't love that. Please Stop looking at me ! I tell with a terrible voice, so angry. I hang one's head beucause finally, i'm ashame to speack so bad to this unknow person and i tell, with a sadness voice ; Sorry, it's not my day.

After few minutes, someone set down in front of me, I look at the guy, not to bother him just because I was surprise. Then I checked around and I saw that no other table was available. He told me to not look at him. I turn my gaze, I don’t want trouble, and I’m just here to eat. He finally apologize, he seems upside down.
“Not really my day either, look at me!” I answer with a smile to try to relax the atmosphere.
I continue to eat, I want to ask if he is okay but I know he is not plus he probably don’t want to talk about it after all, he doesn’t know me.
A girl finally comes at our table. Unlike the guy in front of me, she asks us if she can sit down.
“You can stay here; I’m not waiting for anyone.” I answer her.
I wonder if they will ask questions about my clothes or if they will just look at me and pretend to not see my ridiculous look.

Spoiler:

Then I try to understand if this boy is a girl for his pleasure or for a joke and in my head, i hoped the strange boy don't do that for him. I can't stop thinking about my brother because the sadness don't leave my mind and the picture of my two others brothers learnt Artemis death hurts me too much. It's like a knife in my heart, i feel me as a monster and i can't like this sensation. The strange boy decide to talk to me, he says ; Not really my day either, look at me! I feel he is nice because he tries to make me smile but it's not very conclusive. So, I try a little smile and i appreciate the boy doesn't ask me why i am so sad. Oh yes, i see ... i hope it's a joke ? it's not your choice to wear ... this !? I ask shown the cleavage of his t-shirt whose is perfectly feminine, I laught a little and i see a girl arrive front of me, just near from the boy and asks for me to sit. "Strange boy" tells him he doesn't wait for someone and I move my head to approuve his words. I Want to forgot the bad news but i know it will be difficult but i try to talk normaly, like a person who is so happy ; So, uumm ... i'm Emrys Zacharias, Winthrop, i begin my studies here eight years ago ... and what about you ?  

The guys doesn’t seems so well, but I don’t want to start talking about it, when I’m not good, I don’t want a stranger to ask me about so I won’t do it. He smile just a bit to my joke, it’s a beginning. Then he asks if this is my usual outfit or if it’s just a joke.
“That’s not exactly a joke, I helped one of my friend this morning for one of his project, I didn’t know I will need to be dressed like that. And when I left the room, I totally forgot to change … But usually, I’m more like a dude.” I answer with a smile.
Yes, this is awkward, and I feel a little of shame but it’s too late so I try to laugh about it.
The girl sits down in silence and just looks at me. I think she heard what I just said, I hope so anyway, otherwise she will think I’m a freak! The guy finally introduce himself, he’s a Winthrop, I don’t remember him, but I didn’t stay long in this house, when the Lowell opens, I ran there in a second, definitely THE house for me, the house of artists.
“I’m Jeremiah Underwood, from the Lowell. I just start my third year here in music field. I was Winthrop my first year in Harvard!” I say.
There are many dudes in the Winthrop House, it’s hard to know all of them, and I was shy when I arrived, I was hanging out with Jessy and Aby only. I really opened myself in my second year but I wasn’t a Winthrop anymore.

Finaly, I decide to lie, lie to me, i suppose. Yes, i don't want to show i'm so sad and i like this boy because of his intelligence. Indeed, he doesn't try to know why i am so strange since the beginning and it's better, i think. So, i decide to introduce myself to this guy. He gives me a smile and i try to do the same but it's to hard for me. The black girl sit near the guy and doesn't talk to us. i don't understand why she looks at us without talking but i choose to leave her as she wants. Of course, the guy who is wearing girls clothes explains me he wears this dress to help a friend in his project. I smile to the dark hair guy. Then, he tells me to answer to my presentation ; “I’m Jeremiah Underwood, from the Lowell. I just start my third year here in music field. I was Winthrop my first year in Harvard!” I'm shocking because with this dress and the make-up, i don't recognize but it's not the first time i see this guy. i understand that when he tells me his name ; i know him because it was Winthrop and i am since a long long time BUT ... I also know him because he was the boyfriend of my best friend Aby and in fact, one of the competitors of my childhood friend ; Jamie who was the main ex boyfriend of Aby. My mouth open when he told me his name, i'm so surprise and ashamed. I answer ; Oh ... Jeremiah ... I know you ! Humm ... last year, my best friend were your girl, yeah ? I remember now ... and i'm winthrop boy since eight year, i'm totally ashamed ! I stay quiet a little time but, i turn to the black girl to ask her ; And what about you ? Yes, it's not me. Suddenly, i'm not the same emrys as normal day, i'm Emrys who tries to forgot his sadness.

After I told his my name and that I’ve been a Winthrop before. I saw her gaze change, like something rings a bell to him. Then he explains that I dated her best friend last year. I start to think and I finally understood that he was talking about Aby, I didn’t date a lot of girls, especially in Harvard so it wasn’t that hard to figure out.
“Oh yeah, I think I saw you once or twice when I was with Aby.” I answered.
Ever if we didn’t stay long together, Aby and I are still good friends, she is really special and I always spent a great time with her.
He start to talk with the new girl arrived in our table but she didn’t answer, maybe she just wants to be quiet. So I turn again to face Emrys and I asked.
“So how did you meet Miss Abygaelle?”