it's just.. you know how i want to have the people i love around me and.. well taeil won't come, and i know why but i feel sad anyway and we've been in a weird place you and me since i told you about me being jealous and scared of sam and i feel bad and i hate myself cuz i've been hurting you and i don't know how to act around u since then cuz i just.. i believe i'm disappointing u and i'm scared to lose u and i fuck everything up and i hate myself